To Fill In A Gap Year

I find it strange trying to look for a job to fill my gap year, because there are quite a few opportunities. However, many of which I am not qualified for, or have a sense of 'but what if I actually get that job'. Like there is an internship at Lazy Oafs, which I would never get because I don't meet the requirements, but you know when its like but what if I did actually get that internship, I'd be screwed. A lot of websites that I have read, regarding how to fill a year out, encourage spending your gap year doing something that will boost your future. However, since I have no idea what my future entails, or what I even hope for my future to include, this is pointless advice. I am also very aware that I had high hopes for my gap year such as getting back into textiles and creating things again, and writing more and all that stuff but I don't know. Just all these things, but am I actually going to do them? Who knows.

It's also weird looking for jobs because I have no clue what route to take. Do I go for retail, an office, where do I go! I am thinking retail though, everyone says I will hate it, but I hate when people just tell me those sort of things. although they are probably right it doesn't make it any less irritating and at the end of the day money is money and that is what I want. I think I feel very estranged from my gap year at the moment though. All my friends are enjoying summer before university, I feel like I am part of that jolly despite in my head my jolly lasting longer as I regard a gap year as more fun than uni. Although university is fun, so I've been told, taking a year out to actually figure university courses out and get money and be free from exams also seems fun. Also slightly boring though, but I am sure boredom will just make me appreciate university more. I also feel very distant from my working girl self, as I have lost my CV and have not yet written a new one. It is on the agenda for tomorrow, but looking at jobs never provides much panic (yet) as I am CV-less, therefore I can't criticise myself for not applying, as it would be impossible.

I get uncomfortable to post these ramblings ever since people I know became aware of my blog. Annoying. It's not even like I can tell people not to read it as who could resist that. I don't know. It is all very strange. Or maybe I am just very tired. Or maybe I just keep my blog drafts as some form of diary. Maybe I will start keeping a diary.

This post was meant to be about my travels with my friends. I went to Amsterdam, Budapest, Berlin and Barcelona. However, I feel I can not write an entire post on my travels. Looking back on my trip I get frustrated at all the wasted time and all the things I didn't see. Plus some days were filled with feeling unwell due to migraines and coeliac attacks. It was a fun trip though, but boy oh boy was I grateful to come home in the end.